Hello Sunday Morning | Blog | f***ing weirdo

As more people around me tell me that they are getting me smashed on my birthday, then tell me I am a party pooper or weak or have changed or whatever bullshit when I decline the offer, I feel a little more frustrated that people won't back the fuck off.

Let me make it final. I am absolutely not going to have one LICK of frigging alcohol on my birthday.

Not that anyone I know will read this, because doubtless they don't give a fuck about any effort to good health and wellbeing anyone in the world makes. Which, good for them, but they don't need to DISrespect it. But this is my written testament and it will be carried out.

Where I am already critisized and judged, or made to feel like a fool for having strong values (which I do NOT shove in anyone else's face, but somehow others feel threatened by the idea that their own may be challenged, just by carrying out my own convictions) I feel further adrift for not fitting in with a gaggle of drunk people.

I am no longer okay with damaging my body to fit in. And I realised this when I tried to stretch my ear again after months without a tunnel, and the pain of it, which once gave me a kick, this time made me screech like a tortured cockatoo.

I am finally creating myself for who I want to be. And it has taken alot of time to work out what that was.

• I aim to be an ethical consumer. This is for animals, the planet and other people, however it also eliminates alot of junk so I guess it is for health, too. The amount I am "inconvenienced" for missing out on regular food/makeup etc is nothing compared to what those others suffer for the sake of coorporations making money.
• I aim to take care of my body, and my mind, to be healthy and glowing and vibrant.
• I aim to do as much good as I can and am capable of, in creative ways that I find fulfilling.
• I aim to surround myself with positive and loving people, so that I can be that person as well.
• I aim to travel and explore as much as I possibly can fit into this lifetime.

It blows my mind that because I want those things, alot of the people I know now regard me as a weirdo. When I look at the above dot points, I see them as positive things to want to be. I cannot fathom why I should be discouraged from these goals.

I want to be able to let it all go, and be patient. It is just one extra thing, I suppose, that makes me feel a little less part of it. Which is fine, I don't need a tribe. And this is part of something that has helped me to become happy, is feeling frustration or disappointment, then letting it go instead of letting it overwhelm me for too long. Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow with a fresh barrier of patience. I have been really positive the last few weeks. Everything seems acheivable. Moving forward. Wooooossaaaaaaaa. Deep breaths.

I am very much appreciating that here on HSM I can see that other people are having the same frustrations about people not just accepting their goal. That makes me feel alot less alone.

I leave you with this. Not quite the attitude I am after, but there is a cute baby involved.

Source: http://hellosundaymorning.com.au/2012/07/24/fing-weirdo/

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